


Take care of you for me (everything will be okay)

by tendoxi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Depressed Kozume Kenma, Depression, Graduation, Happy Ending, Hinata Shouyou is a Good Significant Other, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kenma has a cat, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, M/M, Mental Hospital, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Mentioned Akaashi Keiji, Mentioned Taketora Yamamoto, References to Depression, Short One Shot, Suicide Attempt, triggering themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28081167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tendoxi/pseuds/tendoxi
Summary: Kenma was 9 years old when he was diagnosed with depression, after meeting his boyfriend he’d thought he’d gotten better, only to hit an extremely low, low. Now he’s getting better with the important people in his life holding his hand.Inspired by Cavetown’s “Empty Bed”
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	Take care of you for me (everything will be okay)

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based off of Cavetown’s “Empty Bed” and I strongly recommend listening to it while you read! I was listening to the song and spit this out in 20 minutes lolz. Also this is based of my experiences with Depression and suicide paired with the song so if it doesn’t match your own just remember that everyone’s struggles with mental health are different :)! I hope you enjoy.

+

Kenma was diagnosed with depression at a young age. He was 9 years old and couldn’t bring himself out of bed for a week—his mom was worried and rushed him to the doctor thinking he had some sort of deficiency but after a series of tests the doctors concluded he had depression. Since he was young, they recommended therapy—and it worked. Well, it worked for a couple years. 

Kenma was 15 when he met Hinata Shoyo. The boy was the opposite of Kenma. He was bright and loud and rambunctious, he always wore a smile and he dedicated himself to his sports and interests. Normally, Kenma doesn’t really like people like him but Hinata was interesting—he liked him. They started dating when Shoyo turned 16, Kenma 17. Kenma had never felt so happy then when he was with Shoyo. He felt he didn’t need his therapy anymore—he stopped going all together. And he was fine, for a year. 

He was 18 and graduating, he was happy to finally be done with school. Saying bye to his team wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, Kuroo was truly his closest friend and he had already graduated and they’d be going to the same university. Shoyo was also at his graduation, he’d surprised him with a bouquet of flowers and when they returned to Kenma’s apartment he also had gotten a kitten for him—something Kenma's been wanting for a while. 

Kenma hated skinship in front of his parents but he was so happy that he landed a kiss on Hinata’s lips without a second thought. Hinata was still in highschool while Kenma was moving on to a college campus but they didn’t disrupt their relationship in the slightest. 

Hinata came to see him at his single dorm nearly every weekend and during breaks they’d stay at Shoyo or Kenma’s house with the family and Kenma’s cat that he still hasn’t named. 

This was the one winter they weren’t going to hang out the entire break, they had three weeks but could only see each other one since Shoyo had to go see family. 

Kenma thought he was okay all this time but during the two weeks Shoyo was gone, it was almost like the world drained of its color. Kenma can’t remember the last time he felt so….so much like nothing. He tried to remember what his therapist told him when he got into slumps like these from being alone. He tried to talk to some people—make a friend but all that did was make him feel embarrassed and annoying even though the girls he spoke to were nice and sweet and seemed like they wanted to be his friend too. He couldn’t help the feeling of wanting to be swallowed up whole by the time he got home. It was horrible and he hated every second of it. He doesn’t need friends, he’s fine by himself. Those girls probably were judging him anyway. 

Kenma always struggled with suicidal thoughts, he didn’t know how bad they were until he was laying in his bed later that night just having consumed multiple sleeping pills. 

His parents weren’t home either, which is why it sucked that Shoyo wasn’t there, it was just him and his cat. His cat couldn’t help him as he struggled to keep his eyes open and struggled to breathe properly. Though, that didn’t stop the grey cat from trying, he circled up next to Kenma and cried, nuzzling his head against his cheek but Kenma lost consciousness soon after. 

He, for better or for worse, woke up what felt like an eternity later. His mouth was dry and chest tight but he was alive and breathing. When he woke up, he felt even worse. He couldn’t even bring himself to get up to attempt to try again with the pills. 

As more time passed, the harder it became to even open his eyes. He doesn’t know if it’s day or night anymore, his drapes are shut tight and his phone has been dead for the past two days—he’s sure Shoyo and his parents and friends are worried but no matter how hard he tries he can’t get up to do anything. 

His cat has stayed cuddled with him all day, he doesn’t leave except to go to the bathroom or eat food—which he scratched out of the bag since Kenma hasn’t gotten up to feed him. Kenma tries so hard to get up and feed him but he’s so weak that he just falls back down. 

He doesn’t know what day it was, but there’s a day where someone knocks on the door and screams his name. He hopes it’s Shoyo but he doesn’t think so, the voice is too deep. 

Maybe it’s Kuroo? It would be natural he’s worried. Kenma can’t open the door though. His cat doesn’t get up like he normally does either, he just stays next to Kenma. 

Kenma thought that the person—who he assumed was Kuroo—left but instead the spare key was being used and the door was opened. 

Kenma can hear Kuroo’s voice clearly now, calling from the living room. His steps are quick and frantic and he makes it to Kenma’s room quickly. 

“Kenma!” He yells in what sounds like relief. “What the hell? I’ve been texting for you a week and no reply. Your parents are so worried and so is Shoyo! They all told me to check on you and—wait Kenma? Are you okay? Why is it so dark?” Kuroo finally shows down and turns on the light, Kenma doesn’t even flinch. Seeing his friend standing there so worried—it makes him tear up. 

“Kuro.” He breaks into sobs and Kuroo is at his side within seconds, hugging him.

“Kenma what’s—what’s wrong? Are you sick?” 

Kenma nods.

“I tried to kill myself.” He cries and Kuroo hugs him tighter. 

“Have you been like this all week?”

“Feels like it’s been months.” 

Kuroo lets out a shaky sigh.

“Let’s get you to the hospital okay? They can let you talk to a therapist and help you okay?”

Kenma weakly nods and Kuroo helps him up, his cat meows and Kenma wants to cry again.

“Kuro, kuro please feed him—I haven’t—i haven’t and I don’t want him to die.” Kenma wails and Kuroo shushes him, placing him down on the chair in the kitchen. He opens the drawer where all the cat food is stored and dumps some into his bowl from the hole that he’d been eating out of the last couple days. 

“He’s okay Kenma. He’ll be alright. Now let’s go quickly. We’ll get some food first.” 

They get to the hospital after stopping for food about 30 minutes later. Kenma talks to a ton of doctors and psychologists for hours and hours—he cries and hugs Kuroo throughout the entire process. The doctors say it can either be Bipolar depression or just a bad relapse of his depression. Kenma doesn’t care, he just wants to sleep. 

They give him meds to pick up later that night and send him home. Kuroo stays with him for the rest of the break—and Kenma keeps taking his meds when he’s supposed to but he doesn’t feel any better, he’s able to get up but he still feels nothing. 

When Shoyo comes back he doesn’t even stop home before rushing to Kenma’s, the oldest house is still empty so they cuddled on the couch in the living room, Shoyo leaving kisses on his forehead with shaking hands.

“What happened?” He whispers softly after a long time of silence.

“Tried to make some friends and almost killed myself instead.” Kenma mumbles as tears fall from his eyes, afraid of how Shoyo would react, he didn’t know the whole story—only that Kenma was in the hospital.

But Shoyo only squeezes him tighter. 

“I’m sorry for not being here.” Shoyo apologizes but Kenma shakes his head.

“It’s not your fault. I’m just depressed and didn’t realize how bad it was.” Kenma says as Shoyo wipes away his tears with a small smile on his face.

“What did they tell you? Are you going to therapy?.”

“They said the meds would take care of things for me.” Kenma started before adding on, “I don’t think they’re working.” 

“Wanna get a therapist? Maybe it’ll help more.” 

Kenma goes to a new therapist office that following weekend, with Shoyo holding his hand. He talks to a therapist alone and after an hour of talking she recommends staying at a psychiatric hospital for three weeks. He’s shocked, but she gives him time to think about it. 

After long talks with his parents, his boyfriend and his best friend, he comes to a conclusion and packs his bags. 

Shoyo is outside waiting in his car a week later to pick him up and drop him off, Kuroo is helping him with his bags. 

His cat looks confused as to why he was leaving on a day he never leaves. Kenma pets him softly and a few tears escape his eyes. 

“Kuro.” 

“Hm?” The older hums.

“Take care of him for me.” He says picking up the cat who nuzzles his cheek. “Don’t let him know I’m going.” 

Kuroo wipes at his eyes.

“You won’t be gone that long, Kenma. You’ll be back.”

“It’ll be longer for him, Kuro. He’ll be sad.” Kenma cries and Kuroo rubs his back for him.

“I’ll take care of him okay? I’ll come every day and make sure he doesn’t know you’re gone.”

Kenma nods and finally puts the cat down to leave his home. His parents said bye to him the previous day since he was leaving from his dorm and not the house.

Kuroo gets into the back seat after greeting Shoyo and they're off. No one really speaks until they’re pulling into the parking lot of the hospital.

“You okay?” Shoyo asks with a small smile and Kenma shakes his head

“I’m scared.” 

“Don’t be okay? You’ll get through this. It’s only 3 weeks and then you’ll be back and better.”

At the time, he didn’t believe Shoyo's words.

“Take care of you for me.” Is the last thing Shoyo says to him before he turns in his phone and has to wait for visiting day to talk to his boyfriend again. 

It was a long week of crying and feeling useless until he was finally paired with a therapist that understood him, his first response to everything wasn't just meds but instead a long term plan on getting better. 

With her, the next two weeks went by in a blur, he was getting better and even made friends with a couple people in there like Yamamoto who had annoyed him at first but grew on him, and then another man named Akaashi who was there for the same reason as Kenma. 

Shoyo had called him but Kenma asked him not to come visit since he wanted to focus on himself, he said the same to Kuroo. He only let his parents visit while the other two called every other day. 

When Shoyo came to pick him up, Kenma hadn’t even spotted him before he was engulfed in a crushing hug. The laugh he let out felt so genuine, he felt so warm in shoyo’s embrace.

“I missed you so much.” Shoyo cried in his arms and Kenma hummed. 

“Missed you too. I’m so glad I’m back.” Kenma said, squeezing his boyfriend tighter.

“You already seem so much better. I’m so proud of you.” Shoyo pulled away after a few more seconds. 

“Kuroo is waiting for you at your dorm, and so is your cat.” 

Kenma’s heart swells and he nods, for the first time in months he plays music in the car, and him and Shoyo yell out the lyrics all the way home. 

When he gets home, Kuroo crushed him in a hug but he pulls away when the cat meows loudly, running up to Kenma and rubbing against his leg. 

Kenma grins and squats down, hugging his cat who nudges him, seemingly very happy he’s returned. 

“I’m back, Shinrai.” Kenma laughs at the cat who meows in response.

“Shinrai? Did you finally name him?”

“Yeah. On the way here it came to me.”

“I love it.” Shoyo grins and Kenma looks up at the two men and then back down at his cat.

He knows he’s not cured, but he’s better. And he has three figures in his life that will help him through it. He’ll get better and better, his journey will only make him stronger.

“I love you guys.” Kenma says with a smile and the two men both tear up at such a simple sentence. 

“Why are you crying.” Kenma laughs and Kuroo wails.

“I haven’t seen you smile like that in so long! Let me be emotional!” 

Shoyo agreed as he crouches down and kisses Kenma so sweetly that the blond wants to melt in his hold.

“We love you too Kenma.” He says when he pulls away and the same warmth from earlier blooms in his chest. 

Everything was gonna be okay. 

+

**Author's Note:**

> Shinrai (信頼) is actually the name of one of my cousin’s cats, she uses the term as a strong sense of trust and reliance since she’s had the cat for a long time so i incorporated that into the story!! hope you enjoyed :)


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